The Role of Mothers at Weddings: Tradition, Evolution & What Works Today

Mother’s Day is a great time to reflect on the people who’ve shaped us—but in the world of weddings, it’s also an opportunity to consider how mothers (and mother figures) fit into the modern celebration.

Mothers have traditionally played a significant role in weddings—but like so many parts of wedding culture, their role has evolved. And not every mother-of-the-bride or groom plays the same part—or wants to.

Here’s a grounded look at what the role of mothers can look like, what’s traditional, what’s changing, and how to honor the relationship in a way that feels right for you.

Traditionally Speaking: The Mother of the Bride

In many weddings (particularly in Western traditions), the mother of the bride once played a starring role—often co-planning the entire event, managing the guest list, and serving as a formal host. She might have worn a corsage, walked in during the processional, and greeted guests at the reception line.

While some of that still holds true today, many couples are now funding and planning their weddings independently, which has shifted the mother’s role from co-host to honored guest—or somewhere in between.

The Mother of the Groom: From Background to Inclusion

Historically, the mother of the groom had a quieter role—offering help when asked, attending pre-wedding events, and sometimes hosting the rehearsal dinner. But as modern weddings become more inclusive and personalized, this role has grown.

Many grooms today want their moms more involved, whether it’s attending dress appointments, participating in planning meetings, or joining first look photos.

Modern Reality Check: Every Relationship is Different

It’s important to acknowledge that not every couple has a close or traditional relationship with their mother—or mother-in-law. Some mothers are deeply involved; others prefer to step back (or aren’t present for personal or logistical reasons). And in some cases, boundaries are necessary for the health of the couple and the success of the wedding day.

If that’s your story, you’re not alone—and your celebration can still be beautiful, meaningful, and full of love.

Ways to Involve Mothers (When It Feels Right)

Here are a few ways mothers can be thoughtfully included—whether you're aiming for traditional or modern:

• Help with guest list decisions (especially extended family)

• Attend dress or outfit shopping as a bonding moment

• Join a special first look or photo session

• Give a reading or speech (if they’re comfortable)

• Participate in the processional or unity ceremony

• Dance with the groom or bride if a parent dance is part of the plan

Pro tip: There’s no one-size-fits-all. Choose what makes sense for your relationship and boundaries.

If You're a Mother Reading This...

Whether you're eager to help or unsure where you fit in—communication is key. Talk to your child (and their partner) early on about how you’d like to be involved and ask what they envision for your role.

Support looks different in every family. Sometimes it's helping with the planning; other times it's simply showing up, being present, and letting the day unfold.

As a Planner, Here's What I Recommend

From a logistical standpoint, mothers often play a behind-the-scenes role on the wedding day—even unintentionally. They’re the ones fielding family questions, helping relatives find their seats, or smoothing over tension.

My job as a planner is to ease everyone’s stress—including mothers. That means creating a wedding day timeline that gives you room to breathe, clear expectations about your role (if any), and space to enjoy the moment without being overwhelmed.

Final Thoughts

Motherhood and weddings are both deeply emotional—so it’s no surprise the two sometimes collide in complex ways. Whether your relationship is strong, strained, or somewhere in between, there’s always a way to approach the wedding day with respect, care, and intentionality.

This Mother’s Day, we honor the many forms of motherhood—and the evolving roles mothers play in modern weddings. There’s no “right” way to include a mom. There’s only your way.

If you’re looking for help designing a day that feels authentic for everyone, I’d love to support you.. — Brandi Frey, Certified Wedding & Event Planner www.EventfulMomentsNC.com